Finding Gratitude in Parenting
As we approach the end of the fifth year of our Raising Louisiana column, we have amassed the voices and stories of nearly 30 unique parents in these pages. As a publication, we are so grateful to each one of them for sharing their hearts and lives with us and providing ways for local parents to connect to each others’ struggles and find resources. This month we asked contributors to tell us about how they experience gratitude in parenting. A selection of their responses is below.
What lesson are you most grateful to have learned through being a parent?
“The days are long but the years are short”—an oft repeated parenting adage but there really is no better descriptor of what parenting feels like. And it helps keep me centered in remembering that every day matters. —Sara Pic
I am grateful to have learned that my imperfections are OKAY. —Chris Pixon
Everyone is trying their best, and there is a wide range of “good enough.” —Ked Dixon
That it’s the best job I’ll ever have. It helps me empathize with my parents, remember what it was like to be a kid myself, and fully understand the power of modeling and mirroring. —Nikki Mingledorff
What really matters. Sometimes when this magazine is stressing me out or I’m worried about money problems or other adult issues, I remember that my kid doesn’t care about any of that, and as long as he’s fed, clothed, sheltered, educated, and most of all happy—and happy to be with me—everything else is incidental. —Dan Fox
I have learned love can be unconditional and motherhood is a joy, not a burden. —Adrienne Battistella
I really think patience is one of the highest forms of love. It’s wild how just a few seconds or breaths can give me just enough time to channel frustration into playful reframing. —Annie Rooney
Parenthood has shown me that mistakes are part of the journey, and that each day brings a hundred new chances to try again. —Ashley Hill Hamilton
I feel like I’m only now starting to learn lessons, as my older child is 4.5 years old and my younger child is only 5 months. I’ve learned that no one is special, because everyone is. I appreciate people so much more now and I don’t feel like I’m competing as much. —Mary Devon Dupuy
I’m not yet a parent (two more months of pregnancy to go!), but I have been so grateful to discover that my loved ones have been secretly saving baby clothes and gear for my husband and me for years as they’ve witnessed our struggle with infertility. When we told them earlier this year that our second embryo transfer worked, they opened up their attics and closets and showed us all the pacifiers and toys and tiny pairs of socks that their toddlers had outgrown. “It’s yours if you want it,” they told us, “I had a feeling this one would stick.” —Rachel Guillory
What trait of your child or children are you most grateful for?
The trait I’m most grateful for is their authenticity. Their personalities are uniquely their own and they carry them with pride. I’ll be sad if that ever fades. —Chris Pixon
His sense of self, even when he’s being stubborn. He’s a natural leader. —Dan Fox
Their overwhelming empathy. The care they have for others. And for their jokes and laughter. —Drew Hawkins
His smile and giggle! He is one of the happiest babies I’ve ever seen. No matter how bad my day has been, being greeted by his smile and laugh as I walk into my home after a long day just makes all the problems melt away. —Danny Cherry Jr.
I’m grateful for my son’s ability to bounce back from hard moments and forgive me for my many mistakes I make as a mom. —Mary Devon Dupuy
What trait are you most grateful for in your partner/co-parent?
His desire to be truly present in the life of our family. He doesn’t just perform duties out of obligation. He longs to know our kids and help mold them into people of integrity. —Erin Hall
A willingness to cooperate and make things good for our child. —Ked Dixon
To see a dad show up for his kid is something I never got to witness growing up. The joy it brings me to see a dad and son interact, love each other, and learn from each other is a joy like none other. —Adrienne Battistella
What are some ways you are grateful to your own parents that you never felt before becoming a parent yourself?
I have a lot of respect for my parents for exposing me and my three siblings to the world and different cultures through travel. As a parent, I now understand that traveling with children is not relaxing. I am so grateful and frankly impressed by the adventures our parents took us on. —Malaika Ludman
Losing both my parents in the midst of becoming a mother has prompted a lot of reflection. I see how they did the best they could with what they had. They were also open with affection and words of affirmation and I never had to wonder if I was loved. I took that for granted until I saw what a difference it makes in a kid’s life. —Erin Hall
I’m grateful for their generosity. I didn’t quite grasp how generous they were until I became a parent and saw all of what they were able to give me. —Nikki Mingledorff
I’m grateful to my parents for never giving up on me even during those challenging teenage years when I was determined to find my own voice and do things my way. They gave me space to grow, to question, and to stumble, all while standing close enough to remind me I was loved. —Ashley Hill Hamilton
How do you model and express true gratitude in your home and family life?
Every day, I tell my daughter that I’m so happy to be spending time with her. Every time we sit down for a meal, I tell her that I feel so lucky that “today, we eat.” Every time it crosses my mind, I tell her that it gives me so much joy that we get to share a “girl house” and create art and food in it together. —Megan CW
I say thank you to my children. I say thank you to my husband. I thank my children for supporting each other. Sometimes after school I’ll ask, “Did anyone do anything kind for you today?” or “What did you enjoy about today?” I like for them to think about how they interact with the world, and the ways in which the people and the environment around them enriches them. —Malaika Ludman
We do a reflection every night of high/low/silly moments of the day and gratitude has just kind of naturally resulted. —Annie Rooney
By expressing it loudly and often. Showing that praise and gratitude that’s not stated goes unknown. —Drew Hawkins
Are there any seemingly negative parenting experiences that you later felt grateful for?
When my daughter was 5 to 6, I was very consumed with the care of my ailing mother. Most mornings, my daughter and I took food and coffee to the hospital for Mom, and we brought her dinner in the evenings. I felt immensely guilty that my daughter, who could have been carefree during these years—sleeping in a bit in the mornings and playing with other kids after school—was instead bearing witness to this excruciating process of pain and loss. I felt horrible that she couldn’t get the best version of me because I was stressed out and tired from trying to raise her while caring for my mom, fighting for her humane treatment in the hospital, and holding down a full-time job… alone. Now, when I look back on the hospital photos, I see a progressively-shrinking older woman, laughing and sharing life with the little girl who crawled into her hospital bed every morning. I see a young girl spending precious time with her Nanamae, soaking it up like the finite treasure that it turned out to be. Looking back on what then felt like a tremendous sacrifice for my daughter to make, I don’t think that she missed out at all and I am so grateful that the three of us had those last years together. —Megan CW
There is so much about caregiving that is absolute drudgery, but it’s also where our bonds of commitment are forged. Not long after my then-fiance and soon-to-be stepson and I moved in together, my partner had to leave town for a couple days. Of course that’s when my 10-year-old almost-stepson got norovirus and puked his guts out for 24 hours straight. As I collapsed in bed after cleaning the vomit from around his toilet, I thought, “OK, this is it. Now there can be no doubt that I truly care. That we are a family.” —Sara Pic
illustrations by Victoria Allen
