Aren’t you tired of swiping in the hopes of running into a specific someone you have an existing, lingering curiosity about? Here’s your chance to be brave—to take the active route instead of the passive one. Let’s connect again.
Teach Me, Beast Master
Saturday, August 30th
7 am, intersection of Royal and Frenchmen
Me: a large, tattooed lady with short, silver hair, wearing a Unabomber “I voted by mail” shirt
You: a large redheaded man with a beard, wearing a green T-shirt. AND ALSO THERE WAS A CROW ON YOUR SHOULDER, AND ALSO A MURDER OF CROWS FOLLOWING YOU FROM ABOVE, SCREAMING
We said good morning, and I didn’t mention your shoulder crow. I was trying to play it cool because I’m always vaguely embarrassed by my lack of a crow best friend, but I really want to pet your crow and to know his name, and also how you have the loyalty of 20-30 crows.
TEACH ME, BEAST MASTER
Chicks at Brothers III
You used to bring newborn chicks to Brothers III on Magazine, nestled in your bosom, whenever your hen had a new brood. So much has changed since then. I wonder where you’ve been and if you still keep poultry.
Asleep at Mick’s
I was asleep outside Mick’s Irish Pub. You shook me awake and told me to put my wallet away. I was too groggy to thank you properly. If we cross paths again let me buy you a drink—or just grab yourself $5.
Passing Compliments on Prytania
Boy in Car: I was walking down Prytania (away from the theater) enjoying the quiet morning. You were waiting in the passenger side of a car parked on the street with the windows down, texting. After I passed, you called out “You’re very beautiful!” I was tempted to reply “I know,” but I smirked and just said “Thanks” instead. I really felt like you meant it, and didn’t want anything from me, either.
Negging at Hiatus Kaiyote
We were dancing next to each other at the Hiatus Kaiyote show. You seemed really cool and fun, but I was a little overwhelmed by the crowd/music. When we talked, I negged you, in the year of our lord 2025, by poking fun at your Australian accent. Which is crazy considering both my parents have accents. I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re really attractive and bold for approaching me. Hopefully we’ll run into each other again in the future…
Submit your own close encounter to closeencounters@antigravitymagazine.com or through our new ANONYMOUS Google form. All email addresses will remain confidential. Don’t be a creep.
illustrations by Maegen Guidroz
