Guidance Counseling: Guantanamo Baywatch

antigravity_vol10_issue12_Page_08_Image_0002 If you projected Repo Man onto the same screen as Point Break, you might get a whiff of what Portland’s Guantanamo Baywatch is all about. Not only did they hit the band name jackpot, but they back it up with a classic surf sound mixed with a little garage and snot-punk. Their latest, Chest Crawl, is out now on Dirtnap records and you can catch them at the Circle Bar on October 20th. Surf ’s up!


 
Our bass  player  just  quit our band.  It’s  a relief on one hand (there was a lot of  tension due  to personality / lifestyle choices) but  also complicated  because he had  some good bass lines and even wrote a few of  our songs. How  does that work, if the band  decides to go on? Can  we keep playing  his songs or do we have to strike those from the set? We play a show in a month so we might not have a choice but to play his songs… plus they are good, so it would be a huge bummer  if we couldn’t play them anymore. What do you suggest?

Ay dawg, he’s the one who decided to bounce, so go ahead  and  play thoze songs 2 death. He wrote them for your band  so  they’re  your  band’s  tunes. And if he cums to your show (really?), hearz  them  and  bitches bout  it, buy him Jaeger bombs til he passes out and fergets about it.

 

I work  for a  small  business  that’s  probably going under soon. I really  like  working   there but I know it’s time to jump ship and look for more dependable work. Problem is I’m friends with the owners and I know they would take it personally if I left. But I can’t wait until they don’t have enough money to pay me and then be left in the lurch. I love them (they  are my friends after all) but I have to go. How can I quit in a guilt-free way?

Show up to work with a fresh baked batch of brownies; u gotta remember it’s bizniz and not personal and if u gotta make more money, u gotta make more money. U don’t  wanna start to hate your bros over something like this! You’ll def stay better friends if u walk. And if yr nervous still, make them pot brownies.

 

My boyfriend’s  ALWAYS late  to stuff and it’s really annoying. Like there’s that joke “Tell ‘Jake’ that dinner is at 5 when it’s really at 6. It’s frustrating and embarrassing and I’ve pleaded with him to manage his  time  better, but he won’t.  Is this a deal breaker? Is there anything   I can  do  to  make  him  understand how important punctuality is to me?

Tell your man  that  for every minute he’s late, that’s how many  days he’s going without dat pussy. If he’s STILL a late piece of shit then it ain’t gonna work out anyway cuz he doesn’t  like your pussy that much.

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