saint
i remember me then,
dressed down midwest toxic
with one foot in, a dozen drinks down
god forbid i stand in line
god forbid i take a line
god forbid i am the line
god forgive the will to die
god forbid the way i live
god forbid god forbid.
i forgive
the potholes and dark holes
and dive bars
the lost and the holy
the seeking and sought
the skin scars and staples
the bumps in the night
the floods in the heat
the dead haunting new year’s eve
the ripped chains and lost screens
the most terrible decisions.
all the dominos fell,
what even were those chemicals?
that was never the plan,
test kits in parked cars,
rock bottom below sea level,
mask on to masked up,
one to two to three names,
one then two then three reasons.
what the fuck is up, denny’s?
miguel was too young for a viking funeral at the edge of the world
but he would’ve loved the afterparty, god forbid, god forgive
i see me now,
forever grateful i meant what i said when i said
this is the last bag
this is the last line
this is the last bump in the night
forever grateful i meant when i said
it’s just goodnight, not goodbye
—Kendall Burke
