Requiem for a Meme

Yahoo! Answers, New Orleans Edition 

Since 2005, Yahoo! Answers let anyone ask questions and give lightly moderated answers about everything from how birds and bees poop to the ins and outs of human reproduction—including the infamous, much-memed question “How is babby formed?” In May, Yahoo! finally shut down the Q&A forum that care forgot, but not before we tracked down some of the most iconic questions and answers about life here in the Crescent City. Questions and answers are lightly edited for length, clarity, and to remove double spaces after periods. Please verify any advice by consulting a second reliable source, such as Facebook, Reddit, or Nextdoor.

What’s it like to live in New Orleans?

It is truly one of the unique places in our country. Not homogenized and chain-stored to death. Enjoy. Stop and smell the cafe au lait, darlin’. jimmy folate


What are the four quarters of New Orleans?

There is only one quarter in New Orleans and it is the French Quarter. There are not 3 more. —anonymous


My husband wants to take me to the French Quarter in New Orleans to let our hair down. What should i expect?

The French Quarter is a blast. There is music everywhere and cocktails a plenty. I loved it. However, it is also a very, very dangerous place after dark. I can understand the desire to get jiggy, but please be careful, the French Quarter is not a safe place for tourists. —jilllpilll


Should I be mad that my girlfriend went to New Orleans and flashed her boobs for beads?

I have shown my boobs all over the place… Is it wrong, yes… But my husband gets over it… If you love your girlfriend then let it go… Just enjoy the good times. —Susan

Is there anywhere in New Orleans where a couple can have sex in public?

No, you’re not going to find a sign that says “public fornication area,” but people do find the craziest places to have at it. Just be discreet. Flatpaw


Where can I find underground street fighting in New Orleans?

The first rule of fight club… —ariancraiddd


Is New Orleans a good place to raise a family?

I have lived here all my life and nothing has ever happened to me, my friends, or my family! I was born and raised here, went to high school uptown on Prytania Street. I went to an all-girl school and you would think that from what the media says that a group of girls would get mugged all the time. Well that NEVER happened to any one of us or anyone we know. —anonymous


Restaurants like Rainforest Cafe in New Orleans?

Nope. New Orleans is mostly built on a swamp. We have real life subtropical animals and plants. Ray


Where in New Orleans, Louisiana, can my friend eat nutria?

Don’t know what to say about this. chau


What is in the New Orleans dish Benjea’s?

I think you’re talking about beignets. It’s a tasty dough, deep-fried and covered with powdered sugar. Very tasty.  Momofthree


Why did they build New Orleans?

We were drunk, it seemed like an A+ plan at the time, it’s going o.k. Amber Lynn


Does the sun rise in the west in New Orleans?

The sun rises in the east and sets in the west everywhere on this planet. —Anonymous


Why do New Orleans police cars display the Islamic star and half-moon?

N’awlins people don’t think so farfetched. To them it’s a staw an’ a moon, babe. topink


Is there a Catholic exorcist in or near New Orleans, or Metairie, Louisiana?

Every diocese has them—but they are not “advertised”.  Seek the help of the local parish priest. He will take the issue to the bishop.  Shaken Not Stirred


Why does everyone say New Orleans is a cursed city?

People judge New Orleans harshly. They don’t know New Orleans like I do. We must love them in spite of their ‘shortcomings’. Because the people there are just ordinary people. a_delphic_oracle

illustrations by Ben Claassen III